Exodus Inward

Extra Complexity Means Extra Fun! MLS Postseason Nonsense and Sympathy for Gary Smith

exodusinward — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 07:34:57 +0000

Ah, to be Gary Smith, manager of the Colorado Rapids, my newly adopted hometown club. After a summer of watching him work with a team filled with pretty skilled players, I can only imagine him standing on the touchline shaking his head, completely at a loss as his team bomb out of the playoffs with a 3-0 loss to Salt Lake. For once, when looking at a club that is massively under performing, I have not a moment of criticism to level at good old GS. He’s pushing his team in all the right directions. His strategy is appropriate for the skill levels at his disposal. The width has disappeared with all the injuries in the last third of the season, but that is no reason for the midfield to take on some kind of receive-ball-then-stop approach. Every ball is like that. Receive ball. Stop. Wait to be pressed by three opposition players. Play bad pass that puts teammate in trouble or turn over ball. If they were holding the ball waiting for support and maybe drawing some opposition away from their defensive duty, then fine, but that isn’t what’s happening. I hate to say it, but the midfield is looking as lazy as possible. The front is still working and fighting. Cummings is unfortunate to be in a poor streak at the moment. The defense could be better organized, particularly in the center, but it’s the midfield putting constant pressure on them.

So now we have to wait for two other teams to lose to get us into the postseason. During the broadcast, the ever eloquent Max Bretos and Christopher Sullivan mentioned that there were around 50 scenarios surrounding who would get into the playoffs based on the weekend’s matches. That’s much better than a single table where anyone who can do only one arithmetic function can figure out what’s going on at any given moment. Perhaps it’s the influence of baseball that dictates a minimum of an A in introductory calculus as a prerequisite to appreciating sport. The MLS argument against a single table is that it would allow one region to dominate the league. The opposing argument is who gives a fuck? The regions are so large that the influence one has on other parts of the region is negligible. Just because New England is in does not make someone in Kansas City think to himself, “That’s a local team. I’m in!” If you’ll just give us the single table I promise I’ll study algebra and I’ll apply it to something else.

MLS Refs

exodusinward — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 23:26:55 +0000

I just saw the ref give Rolfe a yellow card for diving after Ries took him out. The level of play in MLS is fine. The level of officiating is deplorable.

Max Bretos, Accidental Poet

exodusinward — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 23:10:36 +0000

If one’s primary language is English and one lives in America, Fox Soccer Channel is the best choice for soccer viewing, mostly because it’s the only choice. I’m watching New England vs. Chicago right now, listening to Max Bretos and Christopher Sullivan, commentators, call the game. I’m sure I’ll write about this every time I hear him commentate, so I’ll consider this the prelude to the longer work about Bretos and Sullivan. For now I’ll just ask why Bretos, in a sea of inarticulate sports commentators, manages to rise above all others with his casual ineptitude, his fumbling at the language like an adolescent fumbling with himself for the first time. The analogy is particularly apt since he demonstrates a greater concern for chattering about whatever shiny object flits through his mind rather than what’s happening on the pitch. He excels at the mixed cliche, a close relative of the mixed metaphor, though with an extra layer of lazy thought and expression. He does come up with some prizes with his technique. My favorite Bretos quote, or accidental poem since it is such an evocative expression he develops, is “he has an albatross on his back.” I love that one since neither of the expressions he combines mean what he wants to say. He’s trying to say that the player wants to get out of a scoring slump. A monkey on one’s back means one is trying to stop a compulsive action. An albatross around one’s neck means one is wearing the inescapable symbol of transgression. He has another technique, which consists of spurting hilariously stupid phrases, like his call of this Riise goal.

Next time, the Christopher Sullivan drinking game. How tanked can you get on vague, inflated diction?

PSP Go Sale. Already.

exodusinward — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 15:47:21 +0000

I’m a pretty invested Sony fan. I love my PS3 fat and my Bravia and my PSP. But the Go, even for me, is a fairly pointless piece of really cool tech. Why would I trade in my PSP for a new system with which I can’t play my UMD games and can’t sell my digital downloads? My current PSP has all the functionality of the Go, but without the limitations. Even if I were someone who didn’t yet own a PSP, I still couldn’t think of a good reason to buy the Go over the 3000. Is 16 gigs of internal memory compelling enough? The people at Fry’s don’t seem to think so, at least not at $250.

Update on Charlie Davies

exodusinward — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 15:39:28 +0000

This seems a good way to start. Here’s US Soccer’s update on our number 9, Charlie Davies.